Tries to start catchphrases. Amanda likes likes him. Strangely competent. Still the literal worst.
ABOUT: We hired Joey mostly because he was around, what with marrying our barber Amanda soon and all. He also let us hang him from a tree and beat him with a bat that one time, which proves he has what it takes to deal with the Wildling onslaught that arrives at our doors each day.
It was also on that shoot that he tried to start the catchphrase “get wet,” which is also how he got his shop nickname, The Moistmaker. To our horror, said catchphrase seems to be spreading.
He is also quite the helper on our social media accounts. Blademaiden pulls the content together, Lindsey does the posting, but if you’re talking to someone in the comments (or on Twitter), it’s usually this guy. Everyone is highly encouraged to get weird with him.
FAVORITE THINGS: Andy Samberg, death metal, other metals, Chipotle hot sauce, Peculiar Jacque, Parks and Rec, hockey, Owen Wilson saying “wow”, wondering what an ogre might smell like, blowing up kitchenware, band shirts, tattoos, beer.
FANDOMS: Vans (shoes), Supernatural, The Walking Dead, Spotify, the Fallout franchise, Shear Revival, Marvel, hockey again.
The Shopkeep position is so much more than simply manning the desk. The Shopkeeps of Beardsgaard are jacks of all trades, and masters of some, people wranglers, ringleaders, emcees, schedule Tetris-ers, and whatever else that individual Shopkeep brings to the table.
In Joey’s case it’s few things, including (excluding?) his truly atrocious, but strangely compelling doodles. People have bought them. He only prices them at a couple of bucks, it truly is a steal.