A monthly feature in which we geek the fuck out about one of our favorite fandoms and share some of the internet’s finest nerdery. This might just go on forever, because while barbering is our profession and passion, fantasy, comics and sci-fi are our obsession.
GAME OF THRONES SEASON 4 PREMIERES APRIL 6TH!!! Excuse us while we do a little dance. Make a little love. Raze cities unto the earth with dragon fire. Whatever.
We’re so excited, perhaps Natalie most of all, as she devoured all 5 books in the first couple of months after season 3 ended. She is just ashamed that with her level of fantasy fandom that A Song of Ice & Fire slipped under her radar for so long. RECTIFIED.
This month let us present our first Fandom of the Month, Game of Thrones, full of shrieking berserker fan obsession in the form of photos and links to some of the coolest GoT-related things we could find. If you aren’t caught up yet, (and if not, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR, WE’RE JUST OVER THREE WEEKS AWAY) don’t worry, there are no recent direct spoilers contained herein.
If you want a hilarious, nudity-filled refresher on where we are now in the series, head over to Jezebel’s Game of Boners recaps where they detail “each boob, buttock and sex act that appears on camera, along with some other fun facts from the episode that may or may not have anything to do with sex whatsoever”.
Ice & Fire ~ A Foreshadowing
Let’s get the 15-minute teaser trailer for season 4 out of the way, because if you have not yet seen it, you hardly have reason to read on. Just go ahead and do that now.
Winter is Coming? We’ve heard that before. But the Dornish are definitely coming. Repeatedly. All over the place.
Interactive Game of Thrones Map with Spoiler Control (Linked with the A Wiki of Ice & Fire)
Holy BALLS you guys, this is the mother lode of Game of Thrones and A Song of Ice & Fire (hereafter named GoTaSoIaF) canon immersion. Want to see the path travelled by nearly every major character, charted out on the map, including their deaths? Are you a season behind and don’t want to know that George R.R. Martin is going to murder their ass post-hence? No problem, you can do all that, WITH chapter-by-chaper spoiler control!
Wondering where exactly boundaries of The Reach region are, or where every tiny house of nobility resides (with crests?). There are totally overlays for that. Everything you click opens up its entry in the Wiki of Ice & Fire.
When we were children reading Tolkien and Rowling and Lewis, we could never have imagined something this glorious. But it exists. Here it is. We live in an amazing world indeed.
Inn at the Crossroads and A Feast of Ice & Fire
Mr. Martin writes about food as much or maybe more than he writes about sex and dismemberment. So in a foodie-skewed version of Rule 34, someone made this food, wrote out recipes for it, and put together a book and blog. Because of course. And it looks good.
There were a few menu items they couldn’t swing, and for that, we are all grateful.
- Horse roasted with honey and peppers
- Peacocks served in their plumage, roasted whole and stuffed with dates
- Roast swan stuffed with mushrooms and oysters
- Roast herons
- A great wedding pie with a hundred live doves baked within to fly out when the crust is broken
- Unborn puppies and honeyed dormice
- Dog sausage
- Olives stuffed with maggots
- stuffed Larks
- spiny grubs
- dog in honey, stuffed with prunes and peppers
- Heron Stuffed w/Figs
- Black Swan in her plumage
Rhaegal Dragon Egg Swimsuit from the Black Milk Clothing Game of Thrones Collection
Natalie has had the same swimsuit for the last decade, and has worn it less than a dozen times. But still, it could use an upgrade. To DRAGONSCALES.
Black Milk Clothing just launched their Game of Thrones collection, and Natalie would like almost all of it please. Especially the Westeros Map dresses.
A Beautiful Death
A beautifully illustrated, iconic GoTaSoIaF death a day up until the season premier, and you can even submit your own!
Game of Thrones Funko Figures
Look at them. LOOK AT THEM!!! Each and every one is precious and we must collect them all.
Oh my Zeus, they added Brienne, Ghost, Drogon, Hodor, Joffrey, Tywin and Ygritte. Nope, I’m done. It’s all too much. HODOR, y’all. Hodor.
Major Character & House Guide
Are you everyone’s dad, unable to keep track of anyone’s name except the older Starks (Ned. Jon. Robb.), like Natalie’s dad? Here’s a handy little guide to the Houses of all the horrible, vile, truly awful people we love so much and how to spell their names.
The Wonderful World of Westeros Disney Princesses as Game of Thrones Characters
There is a kiddo in this house that is all about princesses, and while the princess cult can bother the hell out of us (honey, you do not need a prince to rescue you. Be your own prince), the reimagining of these princesses is suddenly sort of…fantastic. Lilo as Arya. YES.
To see them all individually, click through to the Buzzfeed article.
Ghost Illustration on DeviantART
This is perfect. And that is all.
A Chorus of Wieners ~ A Song of Ass & Fire
We do hope you have seen the Black Friday/Game of Thrones South Park trilogy? No? Well here’s that for you as well. You’re welcome. It is yet another one of those occasions when Randy takes things way the hell too far.
As an aside, Natalie has the GoT theme song as her ringtone for when Tyler calls, and if she is alone, she busts out singing this while it rings. For all other calls, it is the Doctor Who theme.
Fucking Everything GoT on Redbubble
In case you ever wondered where we got all of those stickers on our toolboxes. You can also get these in T-shirt and hoodie form!
- Jon and Ghost
- Metroros System Map
- Khaleesi going to King’s Landing
- Bad Wolf
- My Little Dothraki
- Mutant Walker
- Game Of Musical Thrones
- I Know NOTHING!!!
- I Pissed Off the Edge of the World
- Not Today!
- Tyrion and Bronn
And with that, we will begin out countdown to the season premiere!