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A Very Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Holiday Gift Guide

November 2, 2020 By //  by The Beardsgaards Leave a Comment

What to gift the bearded wildman in your life this holiday season when that wildman will presumably be staying inside an awful lot again in the next few months?

How about a curated gift pack, starting with a barber-formulated, Batavia-made all natural beard oil, and filled with other well-crafted treasures to make the long night ahead a little brighter?

Here at Beardsgaard, it is holiday tradition for us to build “character profiles,” if you will, with gift guide collections to help you find magical gifts to delight the bearded characters in your life.

Maybe it’s the abundance of Netflix this year, but if you have ever casually wondered how your crew would fare in your favorite dystopian genre flick, then this quiz is the PERFECT way to find the bearded section of that crew the perfect gift this holiday season.

Note: While we cut all sorts of folks around these parts, this year’s boxes are built around beards (gift packs for all, and a whole different quiz, can be found at our sibling shop, River Peak Apothecary). That does not mean, however, you should not take this quiz for the non-bearded children of any gender in your life, we have a character and gift pack just for them too.

What’s Their Character Quiz

1) What Apocalypse scenario would they do well in?

A: Natural Disasters
B: Zombies
C: Monsters or Aliens
D: Robots
E: System Collapse

2) Where would they set up their headquarters?

A: A cabin on an island
B: Costco
C: A mall
D: A factory
E: A tree fort

3) What sort of group would they move in?

A: With a partner
B: A small and skilled group
C: With the people they pick up along the way
D: Solo
E: With their parents, one would hope

4) The apocalypse will likely be occasional fighting for your life, with long stretches of boredom, how do they pass the time?

A: Scouting
B: Honing battle skills
C: Collecting small treasures
D: Tinkering
E: Just playing, man

5) What are they doing about food?

A: Wild foraging
B: Hunting
C: Raiding stores
D: Raiding abandoned homes
E: Looking for candy at abandoned stores

6) What’s their biggest annoyance in the apocalypse (besides the obvious, i.e. zombies)?

A: Other people
B: Scurvy because you’re surviving on mostly meat
C: Keep finding neat things, keep losing them again
D: Coffee is pretty hard to come by
E: Cartoons will be missed

Now tally up your choices, and follow the link to perfect gift pack for your person.

Mostly A: The Wanderer
Mostly B: The Barbarian
Mostly C: The Collector
Mostly D: The Mad Scientist
Mostly E: The Resistance

If you need help breaking a tie, give an extra point to answers you feel extra strongly about!

Extra special thanks to the most epic costume rental caverns of all time, just down the street at All Dressed Up Costumes

Filed Under: Blog, From the Chair, Products & Grooming

About The Beardsgaards

The Beardsgaards are a pair of mom-and-pop barber nerds with a shared obsession with perfection. We built this old school barbershop to feel like home to everyone who enters beneath the Elvish script above our door. If we and the Gaardian army can give you a better handle on your grooming routine, all the better.

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greetings, nerds!

welcome home
We built this place for you, to bring you everything you ever dreamed you could find in your friendly neighborhood barbershop, and a stupid amount more. Beardsmith and Blademaiden, the mom and pop founders, invite you to explore the realm.

Our Little Slice of Valhalla

In historic downtown Batavia on Route 31 between 1st and Main

117 S Batavia Ave, Batavia, IL 60510

PHONE: ( 630 ) 454 - 4820

EMAIL: shop@beardsgaardbarbers.com

Appointment & Walk-Ins Both!

Parking

Loads of free parking here, both on the street in front of the shop, with an even more substantial parking lot in back.

get at us on instagram

beardsgaardbarbers

Family owned & operated since 2014. There be nerds here. And dragons.
💈Classic Haircuts • Epic Beards • Razor Shaves💈
House brand @riverpeakapothecary

Beardsgaard Barbers
The time is nigh, Gaardians. The Realm is coming t The time is nigh, Gaardians. The Realm is coming to you across the ether via our new Twitch channel! Starting tomorrow evening (January 23) at 7:00 pm CST. Join us at www.twitch.tv/beardsgaardbarbers to watch the official Beardsgaard D&D game begin. 

With a mix of staff and shop friends, we will explore the reaches of The Realm, battle monsters, and save...things? Complete with doses of awkward. Be-HOLD-er on to your butts. It's going to be a wild ride!
It’s official everyone! Beard trims are back and It’s official everyone! Beard trims are back and open for booking. While we know it’s been months and everyone is looking a bit scruffy please be patient as we try and squeeze all the beard trims we can into the schedule. We’d also like to thank everyone who’s been diligent with keeping our shop a safe and healthy environment. 
If you’re already booked in the schedule we can’t guarantee we can add a beard trim to your service but we can definitely try booking you for a different time to get that beard in. 
{Link to book in bio}
Our news friends at @nbcchicago popped in for some Our news friends at @nbcchicago popped in for some street interviews. You can see what our clients and barbers said at 4pm and 6pm today!
We were deeply saddened by the news of Christopher We were deeply saddened by the news of Christopher Tolkien passing a year ago, and still are to this day. Our love of his father and Lord of the Rings is ever present here at Beardsgaard. So tonight we, and hopefully the rest of you, will take a moment to remember one of the greatest authors of all time, his son, and the impact the Tolkien family has had on our lives. 
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien
While we appreciate all the self sufficient kids t While we appreciate all the self sufficient kids that come into the shop, we still need an adult with them to sign our liability waiver. We know it’s a bit of a pain but it’s really to appease Phydeoux the shop dragon. He has a hunger for children and waivers, and we’d rather feed him waivers.
You don’t have to wear it after your cut, but do You don’t have to wear it after your cut, but don’t forget your hat. It’s cold outside.
The product goblin (and the rest of us) think @soa The product goblin (and the rest of us) think @soapdistillery body oils smell good enough to drink. We promise the oils will make you feel much better if you put them on your outside instead of your inside though.
Well hello to those with wild beards who heard whi Well hello to those with wild beards who heard whispers of moving out of Tier 3 Mitigation! Please pause, we're not there yet. 

This does not apply to the entire state of Illinois, only certain regions. As of now, we are still in Tier 3. We will announce when we have moved to Tier 2 on all of our social media channels as well as our email list, so sit tight until then!

Because knowledge is power, you also can go to http://dph.illinois.gov/regionmetrics?regionID=8 at any time and look at Region 8, which contains Kane County. As of this posting, we are not meeting the metric on hospital bed availability. 

We promise, we want to get everything under your mask looking and feeling great, but we cannot do that until it's safe. Thank you for understanding, and please keep an eye out here, on Instagram or sign up for our email list at the bottom of www.beardsgaardbarbers.com to get updates.
And you? Do you like the barber shop? We like you. And you? Do you like the barber shop? We like you.
We may specialize in short, traditionally masculin We may specialize in short, traditionally masculine haircuts, but Beardsgaard has always been a place for everyone; girls, guys, gays, theys - all identities and orientations find acceptance and a barbershop home here. If, however, you are looking for the luscious salon locks that are far less in our barberly skill set, we are the lucky next door neighbors of the incredible @coasthairsalon
Between the two of us, we have heads of every sort covered in spectacular hair, and positive vibes.
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Our Little Slice of Valhalla

In historic downtown Batavia on Route 31 between 1st and Main

117 S Batavia Ave, Batavia, IL 60510

PHONE: ( 630 ) 454 - 4820

EMAIL: shop@beardsgaardbarbers.com

Appointment & Walk-Ins Both!

Parking

Loads of free parking here, both on the street in front of the shop, with an even more substantial parking lot in back.

Current Hours

Closed for Shop Lunch 2-3 pm weekdays, 1-2 pm Saturdays

• Monday - Friday 9 / 8 • Saturday 9 / 5

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All full for the day! (Closed Sundays & Mondays. Call or book online )
For the safety of our staff and clients, we must refuse service to anyone with cold or flu-like symptoms.
Actually there’s a whole list of questions we’re gonna ask you at the door, brace yourself.
Shop closes for lunch weekdays 2-3 PM and Saturdays 1-2 PM
Shop our entire shop online, for shipping worldwide or curbside pickup! {CLICKY HERE}
Beard trims are back! Book Here!
While you’re here, peruse our sibling shop right next door or in the Webs of Inter, River Peak Apothecary!