The Beardsgaards

He stalks through the tall dry grasses of what used to be a forest preserve, before the walkers came. He hears a rusting in the treeline and in half a heartbeat his thrown hatchet stops it. Just a squirrel. Another meal, another hide for the winter coat he’s been working on.

Or that might be him in another timeline. For the next few months he’ll more likely be alternating between video games and working out, keeping on top of his grooming in a casual way, and making up for the lack of bonfires with friends with a whiskey scented candle.

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Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The BarbarianRead More

The Eldritch horrors may have laid waste to the major cities, but in this little corner of the world, he flies under the radar. Workshop shelves stacked high with treasures eminently useful and completely useless, one would never know the true hoard is housed down in the bunker.

Or that might be him in another timeline. For the next few months he’ll more likely be failing to stop himself from acquiring an obscene amount of Funko Pops or Magic cards or whatever his deal is, and while bingeing documentaries and horror movies, combing his beard consideringly all the while.

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Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The CollectorRead More

He built his murder tank within weeks of everything going sideways. In a couple of months he had enough elaborate weaponry for a small army, if he had a small army. Since then, it’s been plans for an indoor potato farm and a Rube Goldberg-esque quest for the perfect coffee brewing method.

Or that might be him in another timeline. For the next few months he’ll more likely be perfecting his chili recipe and dreaming up all his plans for when the world gets moving again. Oh yes, and of course, coffee.

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Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The Mad ScientistRead More

No school, no one cares if you’re covered in mud all day, you’re learning about knives and what you can eat right out of the ground. Sure, every so often we play scream tag and high stakes hide and seek, but other than that, life has been pretty neat lately.

Or that might be them in another timeline. For the next few months they’ll more likely be lovingly working your very last nerve in some objectively adorable ways. We hope this collection helps.

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Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The ResistanceRead More