Fermilab 50th {Video}

We would like to again apologize to Fermilab for all that we have put them through since we come to town. They’re smart. They’re nerds. They ooze sexual magnetism. Wait, that might be the bison. Because they have a herd of bison. What’s not to love?

Maybe the heat on the 92 degree fall day on which their 50th Anniversary Open House fell, but we won’t hold that against them. We will say, they should count themselves fortunate that the Moistmaker didn’t decide to reenact the sexy shirtless Jeff Goldblum Jurassic Park scene on their front steps.

Get on down to the bottom of this post to see the entire video, in which Moistmaker (also known as Joey, Joe when he’s feeling cool) interviews both a scientist, and a herd of bison. One of them responded by urinating in our general direction. You’ll have to watch to find out which.

You see, we have had a long-term crush on Fermilab, with Twitter receipts dating back just about three years. They haven’t told us to stop yet, so we’re just going to keep it up in hopes that one day we can maybe hold hands and skip into the sunset together and they can tell us how the pretty colors are caused by all sorts of things that will kill us all soon.

At least on this day, it was not by bison stampede.

If you want to declare your sooper syrupy love for Fermilab online, use the hashtag #FlirtinWithFermi so we can feel the love too. Let’s make this a thing.