Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The Mad Scientist

He built his murder tank within weeks of everything going sideways. In a couple of months he had enough elaborate weaponry for a small army, if he had a small army. Since then, it’s been plans for an indoor potato farm and a Rube Goldberg-esque quest for the perfect coffee brewing method.

Or that might be him in another timeline. For the next few months he’ll more likely be perfecting his chili recipe and dreaming up all his plans for when the world gets moving again. Oh yes, and of course, coffee.

For the heavy machinery-wielding, well-sated, technical wizardry fella in your life, this collection is inspired by the mad scientists of the wintertime:

1. River Peak Apothecary: Frostwood Beard Oil • The Apothecary’s cool, frosty winter beard oil, made right next door, by us, to keep your beard gloriously beastly.
2. Mincing Mockingbird: Schemes Journal • We know this dude is always dreaming up elaborate schemes – now he can have a dedicated notebook for it.
3. Kindred Coffee: Papua New Guinea • Roasted by a good bud in West Chicago, what gift pack would be complete without some delicious legal stimulants.
4. Monkey Business Design: Hug Doug • He may not be whipping up cakes and pies, but this man knows how to make a heck of a chili or stew – no more losing the spoon in the pot or making a mess of it on the counter.

“What’s Their Character” Quiz Results

1. What Apocalypse scenario would they do well in? Robots
2. What sort of group would they move in? Solo
3. Where would they set up their headquarters? A factory
4. The apocalypse will likely be occasional fighting for your life, with long stretches of boredom, how do they pass the time? Tinkering
5. What are they doing about food? A factory
6. What’s their biggest annoyance in the apocalypse (besides the obvious, i.e. zombies)? Coffee is pretty hard to come by

If that sounds on brand for the object of your gifting, read on. Want to try again? Head on back to the quiz. Not that there are any wrong answers here.

Model: Glen Populorum, owner of First Garage Ltd.
Location: First Garage Ltd., Batavia, IL

We’ve been wanting to shoot Glen with that rugged face and vintage garage forever. The insane horse head hat was just the perfect excuse.