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Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The Resistance

November 2, 2020 By //  by The Beardsgaards Leave a Comment

No school, no one cares if you’re covered in mud all day, you’re learning about knives and what you can eat right out of the ground. Sure, every so often we play scream tag and high stakes hide and seek, but other than that, life has been pretty neat lately.

Or that might be them in another timeline. For the next few months they’ll more likely be lovingly working your very last nerve in some objectively adorable ways. We hope this collection helps.


For the creative, curious, colorful ragamuffins and moppets  in your life, this collection is inspired by the littles, and designed to keep them flipping occupied for a minute:

  1. Copernicus Toys: Crystal Growing Seasons • These are so cool – growing crystals in the colors of the four seasons on little trees. Science!
  2. Huckleberry Toys: Pocket Knife • Gotta learn proper blade handling skills sometime, and with these pocket knives made just for small people, they’ll be shaving kindling bundles like pros in no time.
  3. Pop Colors: Stranger Colors Pencils • Coloring and cleverness – because Friends Don’t Lilac.
  4. Crayon Rocks: 8 Colors • Even more coloring with the most sensorially-appealing little rock shaped crayons you ever did hold.

“What’s Their Character” Quiz Results

  1. What Apocalypse scenario would they do well in? System Collapse
  2. What sort of group would they move in? With their parents, one would hope
  3. Where would they set up their headquarters? A tree fort
  4. The apocalypse will likely be occasional fighting for your life, with long stretches of boredom, how do they pass the time? Just playing, man
  5. What are they doing about food? Looking for candy at abandoned stores
  6. What’s their biggest annoyance in the apocalypse (besides the obvious, i.e. zombies)? Cartoons will be missed

If that sounds on brand for the object of your gifting, read on. Want to try again? Head on back to the quiz. Not that there are any wrong answers here.

Model: Ramona Kenney, shop kid of Hearth & Hammer General
Location: The Corridor Parking Lot, Batavia, IL

Three-year-olds are only do as asked so much for photo shoots, but when you follow a squishy little face like this around with a camera, getting some delightful photos isn’t that hard.

Filed Under: Blog, From the Chair, Products & Grooming

About The Beardsgaards

The Beardsgaards are a pair of mom-and-pop barber nerds with a shared obsession with perfection. We built this old school barbershop to feel like home to everyone who enters beneath the Elvish script above our door. If we and the Gaardian army can give you a better handle on your grooming routine, all the better.

Previous Post: « Razors are Back! But Not Face Shaves
Next Post: Apocalyptic Beardsgaard Gift Guide: The Mad Scientist »

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greetings, nerds!

welcome home
We built this place for you, to bring you everything you ever dreamed you could find in your friendly neighborhood barbershop, and a stupid amount more. Beardsmith and Blademaiden, the mom and pop founders, invite you to explore the realm.

Our Little Slice of Valhalla

In historic downtown Batavia on Route 31 between 1st and Main

117 S Batavia Ave, Batavia, IL 60510

PHONE: ( 630 ) 454 - 4820

EMAIL: shop@beardsgaardbarbers.com

Appointment & Walk-Ins Both!

Parking

Loads of free parking here, both on the street in front of the shop, with an even more substantial parking lot in back.

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beardsgaardbarbers

Family owned & operated since 2014. There be nerds here. And dragons.
💈Classic Haircuts • Epic Beards • Razor Shaves💈
House brand @riverpeakapothecary

Beardsgaard Barbers
It’s official everyone! Beard trims are back and It’s official everyone! Beard trims are back and open for booking. While we know it’s been months and everyone is looking a bit scruffy please be patient as we try and squeeze all the beard trims we can into the schedule. We’d also like to thank everyone who’s been diligent with keeping our shop a safe and healthy environment. 
If you’re already booked in the schedule we can’t guarantee we can add a beard trim to your service but we can definitely try booking you for a different time to get that beard in. 
{Link to book in bio}
Our news friends at @nbcchicago popped in for some Our news friends at @nbcchicago popped in for some street interviews. You can see what our clients and barbers said at 4pm and 6pm today!
We were deeply saddened by the news of Christopher We were deeply saddened by the news of Christopher Tolkien passing a year ago, and still are to this day. Our love of his father and Lord of the Rings is ever present here at Beardsgaard. So tonight we, and hopefully the rest of you, will take a moment to remember one of the greatest authors of all time, his son, and the impact the Tolkien family has had on our lives. 
“The world is indeed full of peril, and in it there are many dark places; but still there is much that is fair, and though in all lands love is now mingled with grief, it grows perhaps the greater.”
-J.R.R. Tolkien
While we appreciate all the self sufficient kids t While we appreciate all the self sufficient kids that come into the shop, we still need an adult with them to sign our liability waiver. We know it’s a bit of a pain but it’s really to appease Phydeoux the shop dragon. He has a hunger for children and waivers, and we’d rather feed him waivers.
You don’t have to wear it after your cut, but do You don’t have to wear it after your cut, but don’t forget your hat. It’s cold outside.
The product goblin (and the rest of us) think @soa The product goblin (and the rest of us) think @soapdistillery body oils smell good enough to drink. We promise the oils will make you feel much better if you put them on your outside instead of your inside though.
Well hello to those with wild beards who heard whi Well hello to those with wild beards who heard whispers of moving out of Tier 3 Mitigation! Please pause, we're not there yet. 

This does not apply to the entire state of Illinois, only certain regions. As of now, we are still in Tier 3. We will announce when we have moved to Tier 2 on all of our social media channels as well as our email list, so sit tight until then!

Because knowledge is power, you also can go to http://dph.illinois.gov/regionmetrics?regionID=8 at any time and look at Region 8, which contains Kane County. As of this posting, we are not meeting the metric on hospital bed availability. 

We promise, we want to get everything under your mask looking and feeling great, but we cannot do that until it's safe. Thank you for understanding, and please keep an eye out here, on Instagram or sign up for our email list at the bottom of www.beardsgaardbarbers.com to get updates.
And you? Do you like the barber shop? We like you. And you? Do you like the barber shop? We like you.
We may specialize in short, traditionally masculin We may specialize in short, traditionally masculine haircuts, but Beardsgaard has always been a place for everyone; girls, guys, gays, theys - all identities and orientations find acceptance and a barbershop home here. If, however, you are looking for the luscious salon locks that are far less in our barberly skill set, we are the lucky next door neighbors of the incredible @coasthairsalon
Between the two of us, we have heads of every sort covered in spectacular hair, and positive vibes.
While we would love to see more than half of your While we would love to see more than half of your faces, until Illinois is out of Tier 3 we are just not allowed to do any face services. That means all beard trims and face shaves are not a thing for the foreseeable future. We know that’s a bummer for most of you but think of how epic and wizardry your beards will be once we can do trims!
For beard updates we will be posting across social media and sending an email out to those of you that are on the email list as soon as we know anything. Hang tight Gaardians, your face gardens will be pruned again some day.
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Our Little Slice of Valhalla

In historic downtown Batavia on Route 31 between 1st and Main

117 S Batavia Ave, Batavia, IL 60510

PHONE: ( 630 ) 454 - 4820

EMAIL: shop@beardsgaardbarbers.com

Appointment & Walk-Ins Both!

Parking

Loads of free parking here, both on the street in front of the shop, with an even more substantial parking lot in back.

Current Hours

Closed for Shop Lunch 2-3 pm weekdays, 1-2 pm Saturdays

• Monday - Friday 9 / 8 • Saturday 9 / 5

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Copyright © 2021 Beardsgaard Barbers

All full for the day! (Closed Sundays & Mondays. Call or book online )
For the safety of our staff and clients, we must refuse service to anyone with cold or flu-like symptoms.
Actually there’s a whole list of questions we’re gonna ask you at the door, brace yourself.
Shop closes for lunch weekdays 2-3 PM and Saturdays 1-2 PM
Shop our entire shop online, for shipping worldwide or curbside pickup! {CLICKY HERE}
Beard trims are back! Book Here!
While you’re here, peruse our sibling shop right next door or in the Webs of Inter, River Peak Apothecary!